Today, a Facebook memory popped up on my feed that stopped me in my tracks. On this day, 15 years ago, I sent out my first query to a literary agent. How has it been 15 years already? Time has flown like light, it seems. I finished my first novel in August of 2009. I lived in a location where it was difficult to get a job because I wasn’t bilingual, so I decided to write. I’d always loved writing and had gotten a few awards. I even had a poem published when I was in school.
With the help of a kind friend, I learned what to expect. I sent the novel out and hoped for the best. After several rejections and reading other authors’ experiences on forums, I realized how unlikely it is to get an agent with your first book. So, I wrote my second book. Then I thought maybe I should return to school to learn what excellent writing looks like and improve my writing skills. So, in 2010, I enrolled in college again. I majored in English, which is really Literature, and minored in History. I loved every minute of my college experience.
At the end of my time at university, I started my third book. I’d been working on a research paper on the Grimm fairy tales, which inspired me to write Fabled. And by 2012, things had changed dramatically in the writing world. Twitter pitch parties were popular. I started pitching Fabled everywhere and started submitting. Somewhere in my gut, I thought this was the one. I got lots of requests and interest, but it didn’t land me an agent. This didn’t deter me, though. Because I knew I had done everything within my power to become a better writer, and by golly, I was going to publish this one. So, I did. In 2015, I released it into the world.
Meanwhile, I’d written another book in 2013, Soul Breather. A book that scared me. I started pitching it and finally landed an agent in 2015. I finished another book, Red Ribbons, in 2016. My agent submitted my books to publishers for the next year or so, but nothing sold. My agent and I parted ways in 2016.
During this time, I’d been interning and later working as a literary agent. I thoroughly enjoyed being an advocate for other authors and adored my clients. However, my own work began to suffer during this season. After much soul-searching, I decided to leave that job.
This began a dark season for me creatively. By 2017, I’d done everything I could think to do. I was deeply sad and had nearly lost hope of ever being traditionally published. By that point, I honestly didn’t know if I even wanted to be. I’d become jaded, and I haven’t seriously pursued it since.
Still, I published Red Ribbons in 2017. I wrote a novella, Of Love & Legend, and published it the same year. A few friends and I put together an anthology, The Devils You Meet on Christmas Day, that year too. In 2018, I tried to keep pushing myself to write more and make a go of indie publishing. I published The Buccaneer Belle and wrote a paranormal cozy mystery that I still haven’t published. Nothing felt right. I still suffered from sadness from all that had happened in the previous two years, so I decided to start something new.
Way back in 2015, I had thought of starting a podcast because my novel, Fabled, features a podcast about fairy tales. However, someone discouraged me because of my voice, so I never pursued it. Fast-forward to 2018, and I felt I had to do something new. I needed a fresh escape and a creative outlet that didn’t depress me. In December of that year, I started the Fabled Collective podcast.
I kept writing books, a little here and there. But the podcast took much more creative energy and time than I’d realized. It wasn’t long before I couldn’t maintain both. If I wrote more on my books, I’d miss podcast episodes, and if I kept my schedule on the podcast, my books suffered.
Then, just as the podcast really began taking off, Covid hit. I attended a podcasting conference that year, and within a month or so, everyone was under lockdown. This isolation and fear did a number on my mental health, as it did for a lot of people. I pushed forward and published two anthologies, Women of the Woods (multi-authored) and a collection of my poetry, Deep Roots Dark Forests, in 2020. By this time, everyone seemed to start a podcast. Competing with highly produced shows with teams of people working on them became difficult. Still, I pressed on.
I released a sweet romance novella, Mind the Gap, in 2021 that I’d written for an anthology in 2016(?) that never published. By 2022, I had to slow down the podcast episode schedule but remained committed to the show. In 2023, I published Soul Breather. After ten years of sitting on it, it felt like an anchor holding me back.
That brings us to 2024. I’m still working on the podcast, albeit slower, because I’ve been focusing on getting some books written this year. I hadn’t completed an entire book from start to finish since 2018. I had over a dozen projects at various stages of completion, so to fully finish something has felt like a breath of fresh air! I’m currently recording audiobooks for two novellas I will publish before the end of the year. I also have my first non-fiction book drafted, which I hope to publish in a few months.
And I have completed two novel drafts that I hope to publish in 2025.
This has been an arduous journey. People often ask me for advice on writing or publishing. I’ve told people that if they can do anything else, they should do it. Not to be discouraging but to be honest about what could lie ahead. It’s extremely taxing on your emotional and mental health. We used to read about all these writers in my literature classes and discuss how many of them committed suicide and had horrible emotional health. I get it now. I never wanted to be anything other than a writer, but it has cost me a lot.
Thank goodness this isn’t every writer’s experience. Some people have a much better go of things. I’ve never shared my journey like this before, but seeing that Facebook memory pop up today made me take stock of my experience so far.
I’m not done. My emotional and mental health are stronger than ever. I’ve steeled myself to no longer be discouraged by negative reviews and nay-sayers. If I think about my path like that of the Hero’s Journey, I feel like I’m over the worst of it. I believe I’m between the Transformation and Atonement phases. I’ve heard it said that often times the difference between the successful and non-successful is simply that one quit and the other never gave up.
Either way, I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished, so far. I’ve entered a new chapter. I don’t know what will come next… Like always, I’m flying by the seat of my pants, and what a wild ride it’s been.
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