Do you struggle to finish projects? If so, I’d venture to say that fear and perfectionism are killing your projects. I’m an author, and I have not finished a novel since 2018. There. I’ve said it — the thing that has been causing me shame and frustration. I recently watched a video on YouTube by this brilliant guy who said that the fear of creating a project that’s anything less than perfect causes procrastination and unfinished projects.
So, wait…perfectionism is the cause of my unfinished projects?
Yes, yes, it is. Well, that and fear.
Hearing this was a light bulb moment. I went back to the dusty computer folders and counted the number of unfinished projects I’ve started and not completed. Fourteen. That’s my number.
THE MORE I LEARNED, THE LESS I KNEW.
Every time I didn’t feel like I could do the book justice, I set it aside and started another. The more I learned about writing; the more critical I was of my work. I’ve learned more about the craft throughout my thirteen-year author journey than I could imagine. Having worked as an editor, literary agent, and ran my own literary journal, I’ve read dozens and dozens of books on writing and publishing. But the more I learned, the less confident I became. I critiqued my work to oblivion until writing was no longer fun. I’d lost the forest for the trees, so to speak. My passion for writing fiction dwindled with every critical statement I made about my work.
FEAR AND PERFECTIONISM CRIPPLES PROGRESS
Coupled with my hyper self-criticism was fear. While some critique is helpful for growth, most of it does more harm than good for me. No matter how much I edited something, it would never feel perfect, and the anxiety of having a less than perfect book out in the world has kept me from:
- publishing the books that are done
- editing the books that are written
- or finishing the books that are at various stages in the creation process
This lack of progress has not only caused me to feel more anxious and guilty for not moving forward, but it has slowly eaten away at my self-esteem.
My fear of criticism (if you put yourself out there in any way, you will face criticism at some point) has crippled my career in so many ways. In a previous post, I explored how to write a novel people want to read. The key, I believe, is enjoying the process. Not scrutinizing and agonizing over everything. I’ve vowed to remedy this in myself.
HOW TO FIX THE FEAR AND PERFECTIONISM PROBLEM
These are the things I’m using to work through my fears and perfectionism. If you have the same struggles, I hope these tips will also help you.
- Commit to yourself. Be determined to do what you say you’ll do. I’ve scheduled tasks for every day of the workweek. They’re not monumental tasks that would be impossible to finish; they’re manageable assignments to keep me moving forward. For the first time, possibly ever, I’m committing to myself. I’ve finally realized that my goals are important enough to value.
- Stop caring what other people think. It’s none of your business what other people think of you. A friend reminded me of this the other day when I expressed my fears about publishing my next book. When someone criticizes my work, I’m training myself to kindly nod, take in what’s constructive, and trash the junk.
- Set a deadline. If you’re dedicated, even self-imposed deadlines can serve as an excellent way to get past perfectionism and keep you on the path to progress.
- Build yourself up. An effective way to build self-confidence is to take back your power by getting it done. One of my favorite movies as a kid was Cool Runnings, a true story about the Jamaican bobsledding team. In it, one character tells the other that he sees “pride, power, and someone who won’t take no crap from nobody.” He has the character look at himself in a mirror and repeat this over and over. I’ve always loved that line. But he follows it up by saying, “But it doesn’t matter what I see, it matters what you see.” For the past several months, my husband has been having me repeat this when I’m feeling anxious. Something about it actually helps. Give it a try.
- Be thankful for where you are on the journey. Just because your work will never be perfect doesn’t mean it doesn’t have value and purpose. Every year, I grow as a writer, but I shouldn’t condemn the work I published in the past, nor should my future self condemn the work I’m doing now. And I definitely shouldn’t stop publishing because someday, I’ll be an even better writer.
- Done is better than perfect. You’ve heard this before. Easier said than done for us perfectionists, I know. Hear me out, though. Is it really art if you have a short story, book, stack of photography, or a studio of art that no one’s seen? This is an age-old question. Some art (and I’m using the term to include all creations) is only made for the creator. Only you can answer the question if your work was meant for you or for a wider audience. If you know deep down that your work is meant to be in the world, then put it out there! I’m saying this to myself here, too. Stop aiming for perfection. Take the pressure off and just do it, sweet friend.
- Celebrate your accomplishments. In my post upcoming post on How to Get Motivated and Stay Motivated, I discuss the importance of rewarding yourself. I celebrated the first novel I published. My family and I had a book signing party, and I went to conferences and book fairs. Since then, though, I’ve published several additional books without celebrating, even in a small way. Writing a book, completing a project, or finishing a piece of artwork is a huge accomplishment. Somewhere along the line, my fears of something being imperfect have kept me from recognizing my achievements at all. That’s a shame. I’m sad I’ve done this to myself, but I aim to be kinder in the future.
In my next post, I’ll share one idea that has plagued me for years and how I plan to implement it to help my anxiety about publishing.
Until then, write on, sweet friends! Your work matters.
